How I Popped The Question...
This is hard for me because I'm not really excited about the way I proposed to Karen. Not that there was anything wrong with it, but it wasn't really like I had a great romantic plan. If I did, it was sort of thrown out the window with the circumstances at the time. It is a long story, but a good one, and I think we made the best of it.
It was inevitable that Karen and I were in this for the long haul, we were going to get married at some point, we both knew it, and had known it for a while. We had both been in bad relationships in the past, and if we didn't think this was serious we wouldn't have stayed together. It had crossed my mind that I wanted to ask Karen to marry me, but I hadn't thought of how I wanted to ask her, or even when yet, but I started pricing rings.
Karen's grandfather (affectionately known as Pop pop), was not in good health, and it was sort of a crazy time with everything going on. And at some point Karen's parents sat us down and told us "we know you both are going to get married in the future, we don't want to rush you, but could you consider doing it now as opposed to later so Pop pop can be there." It was an odd request for me, because it took a lot of the steam out of everything that I hoped would unfold naturally. But I understood with the circumstances, it wasn't something they wanted to ask us. Although Karen would like nothing more than Pop pop to be at our wedding, we were uncomfortable with rushing a wedding that we hadn't even started to plan, and only talked about when we talked about our hopes and dreams. I still hadn't bought a ring or asked her to marry me. But I knew at that moment that I would be asking her very soon.
A few days went by and Karen and I talked more about what all this means to us, and how we don't have to feel rushed, and we don't have to feel like the just because we have now started talking about it the surprise is gone... in other words, we both know I'm going to ask her to marry me soon, but I can still try to surprise her.
A few days later I took an opportunity to talk to Karen's Dad and asked him for his blessing to ask Karen to marry me. I always knew that I would like to ask permission, it seemed old fashioned, but it also seemed like the right way to do it. Granted if Karen's family dynamic was a little different I may not have asked, or I would have done it a little differently. I fully expected her father to give me a hard time, I was waiting for it, and I was surprised when instead he shook my hand and just seemed glad I asked him. It was oddly gratifying, but I knew I wasn't done yet. The next day I went to see Karen's Pop pop, I told him my plans and asked him for his blessing, and received just that. It was a great moment. And shortly after I purchase the ring that I now had permission to present to my love... but I still had no idea how.
Karen's grandfather faded fast after that, and we went through a very trying time period in the following weeks as Pop pop passed away, then the adjustment to life afterward. Karen was understandably upset, and was having a really hard time. One night in particular I remember it was the first family dinner after his death, and Karen didn't want to go, and didn't really want to see everyone. I wanted to cheer her up, I wanted her to know how much I loved her. So I secretly went to retrieve the ring I had been stashing away, I got down on one knee and I told her how I felt about her, and asked her if she would marry me. It was definitely not the time period I want her to associate our engagement with, but it was a very beautiful moment. And I was just thrilled that she said yes. I guess I knew she would, but that didn't keep me from being nervous, I don't know why.
Since then I have asked Karen to marry me a few times, and I probably will ask her a few more times before we get married. I just want her to know and always remember that I want nothing more than to be her husband. And I want her to remember all the times I asked her as one, maybe together they will be half as special as the way she makes me feel.
It was inevitable that Karen and I were in this for the long haul, we were going to get married at some point, we both knew it, and had known it for a while. We had both been in bad relationships in the past, and if we didn't think this was serious we wouldn't have stayed together. It had crossed my mind that I wanted to ask Karen to marry me, but I hadn't thought of how I wanted to ask her, or even when yet, but I started pricing rings.
Karen's grandfather (affectionately known as Pop pop), was not in good health, and it was sort of a crazy time with everything going on. And at some point Karen's parents sat us down and told us "we know you both are going to get married in the future, we don't want to rush you, but could you consider doing it now as opposed to later so Pop pop can be there." It was an odd request for me, because it took a lot of the steam out of everything that I hoped would unfold naturally. But I understood with the circumstances, it wasn't something they wanted to ask us. Although Karen would like nothing more than Pop pop to be at our wedding, we were uncomfortable with rushing a wedding that we hadn't even started to plan, and only talked about when we talked about our hopes and dreams. I still hadn't bought a ring or asked her to marry me. But I knew at that moment that I would be asking her very soon.
A few days went by and Karen and I talked more about what all this means to us, and how we don't have to feel rushed, and we don't have to feel like the just because we have now started talking about it the surprise is gone... in other words, we both know I'm going to ask her to marry me soon, but I can still try to surprise her.
A few days later I took an opportunity to talk to Karen's Dad and asked him for his blessing to ask Karen to marry me. I always knew that I would like to ask permission, it seemed old fashioned, but it also seemed like the right way to do it. Granted if Karen's family dynamic was a little different I may not have asked, or I would have done it a little differently. I fully expected her father to give me a hard time, I was waiting for it, and I was surprised when instead he shook my hand and just seemed glad I asked him. It was oddly gratifying, but I knew I wasn't done yet. The next day I went to see Karen's Pop pop, I told him my plans and asked him for his blessing, and received just that. It was a great moment. And shortly after I purchase the ring that I now had permission to present to my love... but I still had no idea how.
Karen's grandfather faded fast after that, and we went through a very trying time period in the following weeks as Pop pop passed away, then the adjustment to life afterward. Karen was understandably upset, and was having a really hard time. One night in particular I remember it was the first family dinner after his death, and Karen didn't want to go, and didn't really want to see everyone. I wanted to cheer her up, I wanted her to know how much I loved her. So I secretly went to retrieve the ring I had been stashing away, I got down on one knee and I told her how I felt about her, and asked her if she would marry me. It was definitely not the time period I want her to associate our engagement with, but it was a very beautiful moment. And I was just thrilled that she said yes. I guess I knew she would, but that didn't keep me from being nervous, I don't know why.
Since then I have asked Karen to marry me a few times, and I probably will ask her a few more times before we get married. I just want her to know and always remember that I want nothing more than to be her husband. And I want her to remember all the times I asked her as one, maybe together they will be half as special as the way she makes me feel.
posted by Gabe | 5:57 PM
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